The Shepherd
by BethylAnarion
Summary: One shot- First fanfiction! I don't have spell check, but I did read over it a couple of times.- Clarice is unhappy with her life the way it is. The story is better than the description, I hope. I may write a sequel.


Clarice Starling opened the door, and threw her things on the floor. She hit her head against the wall, letting tears fall. Her body slid down and she sat on the floor, sobbing. She was unhappy with her job, unhappy with her life, unhappy with her past. Hours had gone by when she finally regained the will to stand.

Ever since she was a little girl, Clarice would run to forget her problems. She went upstairs, changed into sweatpants and a loose shirt, then left the house. She went to the trail where she always ran. There was never anyone out there, and she knew the trails well enough to take them with her eyes closed.

At first, it was like usual, she forgot a little, but then, slowly, her memories came creeping back. She ran harder. Still her choices haunted her. Harder. _"That's my girl," he breathed, pressing his lips to hers gently. She hadn't kissed back, though every nerve in her body had wanted to. "Bye," he said, turning and leaving._ She could feel her heart pounding, stinging in her chest and she knew she was pushing herself too hard, but this time, she didn't care. She kept going. Her vision started to blur, but she kept running and running. Suddenly, her vision was gone, and her body collapsed, crashing into the ground and rolling off the trail down a small hill.

Dr. Lecter came out from his hiding place behind some bushes. He walked, rather quickly, in her direction. Then he knelt beside her and touched her face. It was red, but very cold. Her breathing was soft and shallow, but when he placed a hand on her throat, he could feel her heart still pounding, struggling to keep up. She looked tired, sad. He felt something strange in his heart as he looked at her half alive, dirty, curled body.

He picked her up gently, without waking her, and brought her to his truck. He lowered her seat and got in the driver's seat. Her car would be fine where it was until she wanted to get it.

Clarice woke up in her bed. She looked around, head pounding, unsure what had happened.

A familiar clicking sound caused her to jolt, head jerking to the right side of the room. A few feet from the doorway stood Doctor Lecter. "Good evening, Clarice."

"Doctor Lecter," she gasped. "Why are you here?"

"A shepherd must tend to his flock, Clarice, and it seems my little lamb has become self destructive. We can't have that." He walked towards her.

She just stared, finding no words. She had secretly wanted him to return, but now that he was here, she didn't know what to do. Her years at the F.B.I. told her to call for backup, but she didn't. She didn't want him to get caught.

He stood over her now, and looked down at her. "What is it, Clarice?"

She shook her head in confusion. "You kept watching me. Even after what I said at Chesapeake. Why?" her voice was hoarse after her run.

He closed his eyes and looked out the window on the other side of the bed. "Are you familiar with Dante's Vide Cor Meum? 'He woke her then, and trembling and obedient she ate that burning heart out of his hand'."

"What are saying, Doctor?"

"I think you know the answer to your own question." he met her eyes again.

"I want to hear you say it, sir."

"I love you, Clarice, and I have for a very long time."

She was quiet again, struggling to find what she wanted to say. He looked back to the window. "Doctor Lecter?" she said finally. He turned back. "I love you, too."

He examined her for a moment. "Are a thousand years really gone so soon?"

"We don't reckon time the same way, sir."

"That's my girl." he said smiling. He sat on the bed and stroked her face. Her head moved towards his touch involuntarily. Slowly, he bent over her, and kissed her. It was gentle, not over-powering, not forceful. He started to move away, but she grabbed him by the neck and tried to pull him back. He took her hands and placed them on her stomach. "You need to rest, my dear. Why don't I make you something to eat?"

"I'm not hungry."

"I see." he sighed, standing. "I'll leave you to rest then."

"Wait, Doctor- please."

He turned back.

"Please don't go."

A bittersweet smile crossed his face. "I'm not going anywhere, just as long as you don't call the police. I'll be here when you wake up."

The door closed softly behind him. She found that she was actually very tired, and that it was easy to let her eyes drift shut. It wasn't long before her thoughts became very vivid, and she fell into dreaming. She gasped, eyes opening quickly. As she came out of her dream, heart still pounding in her chest, she began to cry quietly.

"What's wrong, Clarice?" This time, she didn't jump when the metallic voice spoke. "Is it those dreadful lambs again?"

She felt embarassed that he should see her this way. He had never seen her cry before. She felt vulnerable. "Yes."

He sat down on the bed and wiped away her tears with his thumb. "Shh, it was only a dream. Try to go back to sleep. You need to rest." he stood and made his way to the door.

"Doctor," she called.

He stopped and turned around. "Yes?"

"Please don't go."

"Like I said, I'm not going anywhere."

"No, I mean.. stay here, with me."

"I'm afraid there's nowhere to sit."

"Lie down and hold me." When he didn't respond, she continued. "I'm afraid to close my eyes, Doctor. I'm afraid the lambs are going to scream."

He walked to the bed and sat down, gently stroking her face. "And do you think that I can stop them, Clarice?" he whispered.

"You have before." She felt desperate to have him near her.

"Have I?" It wasn't really a question. "I will hold you on one condition. You must promise me that you will rest."

"I promise, sir."

He laid down, and she curled into his arms. The warmth of his body engulfed her and she felt strangely safe and secure, a feeling she wasn't used to. She smiled to herself at the idea that she was only comfortable in the arms of a cannibal. She found it odd that, now, the idea did not bother her. She fell quickly into a deep sleep.

Hannibal left his hand on her side as she slept. He found comfort in feeling her chest rise and fall as she breathed. He took in the smell of her, lying there beside him, and stored it away in his memory so that he could always go back to it whenever he thought of his little Starling. She slept hard until the next morning.

She awoke the next morning to find that he was indeed still there, still holding her faithfully. She nestled her head in his neck, thankful for his warmth and security.

"Is this a dream?" she asked, her eyes still closed.

She could hear his smile as he replied. "No, this is not a dream."

"So you're really here?"

"Yes, Clarice, I am here... Are you regretting your decision to not call for backup?"

"No."

"No? I have to admit, Clarice, that surprises me."

"I'm full of surprises, Doctor."

"That you are... Are you up for a game of quid pro qou?"

"Sure." She rolled out of his arms and laid on her back, looking at the ceiling. He stood and walked over to the window. "You already asked a question, so it's my turn... Where have you been all this time?"

"Oh, I've been around. Never far."

"Where exacly is 'around', sir?"

"Close enough to watch over my little lamb."

"You're not really answering my question, Doctor."

"I'm afraid I can't tell you any more than that, Clarice."

"Why's that?"

"I can't take the chance of having the F.B.I. know where I am."

"Why didn't you come sooner?"

"Why haven't you called for backup?"

She was slightly annoyed that he had decided to take his turn rather than answer her question. "I don't want to." She sat up.

"Why not?"

"I've made that mistake before, and it haunts me every second of every day."

"You're still just as frank, I see... Is that why you're so unhappy, Clarice?"

"I don't know."

"Or are you unhappy with your job?"

She didn't answer.

"On late nights you come home and fall to the floor and cry for many hours. Are you afraid you've disappointed Daddy dearest? Or is he the only reason you've stayed with the F.B.I.? Does your father's opinion figure so largely in your choices that now you've failed to even make yourself happy, Special Agent Starling?" he turned back to her.

Clarice was sitting on the side of the bed, struggling to keep her tears away. She didn't want him to see her cry. Though he had seen her do so the night before, somehow this was different. She hugged her arms close to her body.

"Am I correct, Special Agent Starling? I assume you wouldn't be so upset if I wasn't."

No longer able to endure his gaze, her eyes darted to the floor, and it became harder to fight back the tears. She knew he could see that her eyes were watery, but fought it anyway.

"Please tell me." he pushed.

"It's your turn, Doctor." her voice was tight with sorrow. "Answer my question from before."

He closed his eyes and turned to look back out the window. "I didn't want to come too soon."

"You knew I was hurting, Doctor."

"But I wanted _you_ to know, Clarice."

"Why?"

"So that when I came, you wouldn't deny it." He walked over to her and wiped the single falling tear. "Believe me when I say that it hurt to watch you fall."

"So that I wouldn't deny what, sir?" she pressed, growing impatient.

"That you have feelings for me, Clarice."

"I don't deny that."

"No, but would you have told me if I'd come sooner?"

"No, no I guess I wouldn't."

He gave her another bittersweet smile.

After a few minutes of silence, Clarice stood. "How's this going to work, Doctor?"

"What do mean, Clarice?"

"Us. How are we going to see each other without getting caught?"

"I haven't been caught yet, have I? No one will know unless you plan on telling."

"It's a good thing I don't plan on telling then, isn't it, sir?"

"One thing must change though."

"And what's that?"

"I believe we know each other quite well enough now, Clarice. There's no need for titles."

She grinned. "I'm not sure I can get used to that."

"You will in time."

"Whatever you say, Hannibal."

He put his hands on her waist and drew her closely. Their lips pressed together. He pulled back sooner than she would have wanted. "You should sit. You're still tired from your run. Hungry?"

"Yes."

After they ate, they sat on the couch in the living room.

"I have a question." she said, leaning into him.

"What is it?"

"How did you get in my house?"

He smiled and kissed the top of her head. "You had your keys with you... And it's not very hard to know that you keep a key in the chair on your porch."

She sat up and looked at him. "You've been in my house more than once?"

He smiled like a guilty child. "It was hard to resist the temptation, Clarice."

"And you never once said anything?"

"It was very hard to watch you crying and never comfort you."

She rolled her eyes and relaxed back into his arms. After a moment, she spoke again. "You're going to have to leave soon, aren't you?"

"Yes, I'm afraid I can only stay for the remainder of today."

"Will you come back?"

"Of course. It's very hard to stay away."

She grinned. "When will you be back?"

He thought for a moment. "Shall we say... three days?"

"Friday seems too far away."

"All good things to those who wait."

THE END


End file.
